Does Raw Food Make You Single?

It’s been a long time, too long, way too long since I last wrote anything on my blog, but maybe this will go some way to explain what’s been going on for me...

I have heard many people saying that they have been feeling major life shifts as we enter 2012 – no less for me, although my major life shifts actually began last year, and have been a very long time coming. This blog post has been mulling in my mind for some time, but I was finally inspired to share it with you, by one of my good friends, the gorgeous Emma Couttie of www.rawfoodscotland.com who recently wrote a blog ‘Does Raw Food Mean You’re Destined to be Single?’

Before getting to the point, I am just going to digress for a moment, to explain how the name of my biz came about and what it means to me...it’s about way more than food.

Raw: Pronunciation: /rɔː/adjective

       1. uncooked, as articles of food: a raw carrot.

       2. not having undergone processes of preparing, dressing, finishing, refining, or manufacture: raw cotton.

       3. unnaturally or painfully exposed, as flesh, by removal of the skin or natural integument. Stripped bare (nothing but yourself – my words)

 

Liberty: Pronunciation /ˈlɪbəti/noun

1. 1.       freedom from external or foreign rule; independence.
2. 2.        freedom from control, interference, obligation, restriction, hampering conditions, etc.; power or right of doing, thinking, speaking, etc., according to choice.

 

So, back to the point...Does raw food make you single? Let me share some of what has been going on for me. (Not the whole story...I could write a book! Perhaps I should? Maybe not...)

I started eating more raw food in 2006, my intention, solely I thought, naively I now realise, was to gain more energy, improve my health, feel and look better, and lift those ever increasing ‘dark’ days – you know the ones, when you wake up feeling  totally shite, and wishing you didn’t have to face the day. What I didn’t realise, and certainly didn’t expect, was that it would open me up to myself, give me a clarity I never thought possible, clarity about who I was, and who I was becoming, and what I wanted out of life. Raw food is not just about the food, it’s a whole person journey.  It can open up the potential for you to grow at a different rate or perhaps in a different direction than you had been before. And if your partner is not growing with you, this ‘stuff’ is bound to affect your relationship to some degree.

And so came the realisation that I had spent so many years trying to be someone I’m not in order to be ‘the person’ someone else wanted me to be...and what’s more, I was failing miserably at it! Worse still, I realised that I was losing me, my true self in the process!

This quote from of Neale Donald Walsch really sums up the situation (me being the ‘other’):

‘It is very romantic to say that you were ‘nothing’ until that special other came along, but it is not true. Worse, it puts incredible pressure on the other to be all sorts of things he or she is not.

Not wanting to “let you down” they try very hard to be and do those things until they cannot anymore. They can no longer complete your picture of them. They can no longer fill the roles to which they have been assigned. Resentment builds. Anger follows.

Finally, in order to save themselves (and the relationship), these special others begin to reclaim their real selves, acting more in accordance with Who They Really Are. It is about this time that you say they’ve really changed.’

...or in my case that I had a ‘psychological illness’ and was ‘out of control’

I lost count of the times I heard the phrase “Other people’s wives...” and rather than listening to my spirit which was screaming inside – “...but I’m not ‘other people’s wives’, I’m ME!”, I would dust myself down and try again to be someone I’m not.

The clarity I gained from eating a high raw diet, showed me that, in this internal struggle, I was actually losing, losing myself, losing me.

He once said, “I don’t want to be married to someone who eats raw food!” I think, though I may be mistaken, that the intention behind this declaration was – ‘Go back to being normal, eat the same way as other people’s wives’ etc. etc. etc. But that was the declaration he put out to the Universe....

Another digression, sorry...For me, ‘raw’ and ‘liberty’ mean just that...a freedom to make choices. Having the freedom to choose what we eat, how we feed our bodies. In our society today we are literally swamped by food choices, from quick and easy fast food takeaways and microwave ‘ding’ meals, through a whole gamut to fresh organic fruit and vegetables. The spectrum is vast, overwhelming in fact. Ever been out for a meal and been faced by so much choice on the menu that you just didn’t know what to order? For me, food, the way we choose to nourish ourselves is all about that; CHOICE. It is my choice at this point in my life, to eat a high raw diet; it serves me, my body loves it, I feel more alive, and so much happier. But it is a choice, I’m not a purist, I don’t preach...If I wanted to eat a steak tomorrow, I could. (Chances are pretty damn high that I won’t, but if I chose to ...that is ok) So I made a personal choice to eat raw food. I have never pushed my choice on anyone else. I will cook meat, fish, dairy, for others if that is what they choose to eat (although I would prefer not to...) I respect their choice to eat meat etc. and will not push my choices on them; in return I would like my choices to be respected. I won’t ask or expect them to eat raw, as long as they don’t ask or expect me to eat cooked....We all have a right to freedom of choice don’t we?

...So back to his declaration; the one about not ‘being married to someone who eats raw food’. Now here’s a lesson in the need to be specific in what you put out to the Universe, because the Universe, in all its glory will deliver! Five years later, his manifestation has come to fruition...we are no longer together.

So...did raw food end my marriage? Make me single? I think, for the most part, no. There were so many other contributing factors at play, which I won’t go into here for personal reasons, but the part raw food played in all of this was that it brought with it  clarity, clarity to realise that I was losing the one thing that was truly mine, ME!, and that I had a choice – give up who I am and live my life trying to be someone I’m not, in vain attempt to make someone else happy, or be true to myself and live my life as ME. Is that really a choice? Simple as it may sound, it was the hardest choice I have ever had to make in my life, and believe me, it took years of heartache and soul searching to find the courage to take that leap of faith and believe in me, that I have a right to be me, that I am worth it.

Stacey Charter sums it up perfectly:

“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mould. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”

And so here’s to Raw Liberty...freedom to be who I am, to stay true to myself, me, stripped back to who I am. I have committed to being myself (I can’t be anyone else, I’m a crap actress!) and so from now, anyone who comes into my life will have to take me as they find me, love me as I am..

...and so Does Raw Food Make You Single?.......

..... maybe there’s a ‘Part 2’ ;)  

Comments

[Val Charman]

Lisa, I am so there with you! I have undergone the same changes and realisations and guess what? I am now single too :) We only have this one life - for now - and we owe it to ourselves, and to others, to be the best darn person we can be!

Val